Wednesday, May 11, 2016
Alhamdulellah, I find myself with a bit of time to come and reflect on this beautiful green but chilly and damp month!
April is my birth month, and this year I celebrate the big 3-0!! It seems a big deal to me. It took 30 years for me to be as I am, learn what I have learned, be where I find myself today.
One fun thing is that I no longer feel shy to be more "ladylike". I don't know why but before, I always felt that I should be more tomboyish, and that dressing ladylike was for older women. Now I know that its all these silly labels we put on people and numbers. If you want to dress dignified and classy, then do it! I think I used to feel guilty before, thinking that it is somehow too dunya-oriented to do so. Now I know that it doesn't matter what you own, or how you dress (to some extent): what matters is what owns YOU, your behavior, how you treat others, how attached you become to things, and how much you can maintain a connection to Allah while living your normal daily life.
So I am celebrating a lot of the beautiful designs I see from INAYAH! I love how elegant and beautiful and modern and classy the models look, with clothes that are LONG and LOOSE! Its awesome! I am celebrating by getting mah greedy lil paws on it!
The awesome thing is that I needed a dress for going to a wedding, and now that I have purchased one from INAYAH, I won't need to layer a jacket or anything!! I'm so exited about that! It arrived today, and the fit is perfect--it is fitted enough to let me feel like a female, but not tight enough to make me feel self-conscious. I am looking forward to wearing it. :)
Other April Musings:
I was re-reading my hijab protocols from a previous post, and I've decided that really, we can have a general set of guidelines, but that every woman is a little different and will internalize and actualize hijab in her own individual way.
Example: a friend of mine with very very light skin, and light colored eyes told me recently that she just can't wear any eye makeup outside, to mixed weddings and such because it really brings a lot of attention to her eyes! But those of us with darker skin and eyes can get a way with a bit of makeup while still looking pretty natural. I love that we don't need a blanket set of conduct to appreciate a general rule of modesty.
But that makes me realize even more that while we must use a strong sense of moral judgement to understand what is best for us to do, we can't judge others if they color outside of our lines. Like, I know I wrote that wearing 6 inch heels= major sex appeal, so they must be avoided. I would still follow that rule for myself, and I wouldn't encourage my daughters to wear them, per se, but I wouldn't immediately look at a muhajibah and then see her shoes and gasp: "oh! she doesn't have good hijab!" I just pray that everyday, I am doing my best to do things properly, and that instead of focusing on others I am working hard on myself. :)